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Since my daughter started Day Care last week, my brain has been rendered completely useless.  I’m not talking about forgetting small, cute things like her favorite toy or an extra outfit… nope!  I’m talking about things that would get most mothers on Child Protective Service’s radar.

My daughter’s childcare provider thinks I’m a total moron and she’s not wrong.  It started with forgetting a bottle the first day of Day Care. “Babies don’t need bottles, do they?” asked nobody ever… because babies desperately NEED milk.  Luckily, I was on my phone that day so I could run back and bring a bottle.

It got worse from there.  The next day, I only packed one diaper and forgot about solid foods.  I was working this day so my husband had to go back with the forgotten items.  No big deal, right?

Wrong.  I was so frazzled and embarrassed when I picked her up that I tripped on a rock while pushing her in her stroller and the entire stroller flipped over.  In that moment, my daughter’s life flashed before me and adrenaline pumped through my system.  Would I be like that mom who lifted the car off of her trapped son on the highway or would I be like that mom that can barely lift her own daughter because I’m weak and never work out?  (Of course I would be the latter.  I haven’t stepped into a gym in over two years, people.  My daughter is already stronger than me.)

Luckily, my daughter was strapped into the stroller and did not fall out.  Her safety straps worked – but I felt like the hugest dummy on the planet.  Oh, and did I mention that her child care provider (Let’s call her “Miss X”) saw the entire thing and hasn’t stopped mentioning it to me over the phone, in person and even in text on a daily basis? “Oh, Anne, sweetie.  I can’t believe you almost murdered your own daughter!  Thank God I was there to save her, sweetie.”

Thanks, Miss X, for a constant reminder that I’m a terrible mother.  I didn’t already feel that way just because I started my baby in day care, so thank you for the reminder!  Also, thanks for throwing the word “sweetie” into the mix at every opportunity.  It in no way feels condescending or gratuitous.

Then, last night, I drove to pick my daughter up and her car seat was not there.  I drove a car to pick up my daughter and there was no seat for her.  Where was her car seat?  Over an hour away with my husband who was working until late in the night.

So, I did what any sane mother would do – I walked my daughter home with all her stuff and nearly threw out my back doing it.  It was a looooong walk with a 26 pound baby and her gear but I couldn’t drive home because I didn’t have an infant car seat.  Oh!  And did I mention that Miss X saw the ENTIRE THING and has been texting me about it since?  “Sweetie.  You really should have brought a winter coat to pick her up, Sweetie.  I hope your walk was okay, Sweetie.  But next time remember the car seat and you don’t need to walk, Sweetie.”

So… I’m feeling like the best Mama in the world right now.  I need to write down a check list every morning so I don’t forget something even worse (like my daughter.)  Oy.