It’s almost impossible to not judge. As humans, that’s how we supposedly evolved – we judged that the asshole lion chasing us looked hungry, so we ran. Or something like that.
I try to not judge – honestly – because I’m a naturally judgmental person who comes from the world’s most judgmental family (I write that in a loving and clearly hyperbolic way.) Now that I’m a mom, I think I’m a little less judgmental. If you breastfeed or not, that’s your choice. I don’t know your story and your history so I’m definitely not judging you. If you work or stay-at-home, that’s your choice. Again, I don’t know your reasons why and it’s none of my damn business. If you do the attachment parenting thing or neglect your child… wait a sec. If you neglect your child I’m gonna judge the shit outta you, but you get it. Now that I’m a mom, I don’t judge other women as much because, well, I realize it’s hard for all of us. It’s not hard in a “serving your country / Bradley Cooper sniper movie” way hard, but it’s hard. It’s wonderful and it’s hard so I’m not gonna judgement (most of) other mom’s choices.
So, I am a little less judgmental now that I’m a mom… but sometimes judgment still creeps it’s little self-righteous head. Take today in yoga class. Now, I don’t go to yoga every single day because I work (and I’m lazy… mostly because I’m lazy.) So, I go to this class that I’ve gone to exactly once before (two months ago) and everyone knows everyone. This is kind of nice – I like to be the fly on the wall of the ashram (well… the stinky YMCA.)
When you are a newbie and the other woman know each other, and all of you are slightly awkward, you don’t introduce yourself and, instead, listen to their conversations like a huge creep.
This is what I heard this morning:
Mom One: “The parking lot has gotten soooo… I don’t know! It’s like they’ll let anyone in here.”
(It’s a YMCA… a frickn’ YMCA)
Mom Two: “I know, but if I don’t get my yoga my skin looks so old.”
(WHAT? IS THIS A THING?)
Mom One: “Do anything fun this weekend?”
Mom Two: “Soccer games. The Oscars.”
Mom One: “Oh, did you watch the Oscars?”
Mom Two: “Oh yeah, no, I didn’t. I didn’t watch the Oscars.”
Mom One: “I heard Doogie Howser was funny. And that Patricia Arquette said some stuff.”
(Yes All Women???)
Mom One: “But what I wanted to tell you is what I DID this weekend.”
(Clearly she was fishing when she asked the other woman what she did.)
Mom Two: “Did you watch the Oscars?”
Mom One: “No. We don’t have Cable.”
(She’s VERY proud of this.)
Mom One: “No, Rachel and I went Downtown. Downtown, Los Angeles.”
(She says this like she went to Iraq and hung out with ISIS.)
Mom Two: “Why on earth would you do that?”
Mom One: “It was fun! So artsy. It’s sooo different from when we first moved here. It’s like all these artists moved in and all the homeless people moved out.”
I almost yelled at these two strangers – that’s how insane I am. I almost yelled at them in a yoga class about how they clearly don’t understand homelessness, or people, or anything really. Instead, I chuckled to myself and wrote this post.
Every day, I try to judge less; but the problem is, people do really funny stuff all the time.