, , ,

It’s almost impossible to not judge.  As humans, that’s how we supposedly evolved – we judged that the asshole lion chasing us looked hungry, so we ran.  Or something like that.

I try to not judge – honestly – because I’m a naturally judgmental person who comes from the world’s most judgmental family (I write that in a loving and clearly hyperbolic way.)  Now that I’m a mom, I think I’m a little less judgmental.  If you breastfeed or not, that’s your choice.  I don’t know your story and your history so I’m definitely not judging you.  If you work or stay-at-home, that’s your choice.  Again, I don’t know your reasons why and it’s none of my damn business.  If you do the attachment parenting thing or neglect your child… wait a sec.  If you neglect your child I’m gonna judge the shit outta you, but you get it.  Now that I’m a mom, I don’t judge other women as much because, well, I realize it’s hard for all of us.  It’s not hard in a “serving your country / Bradley Cooper sniper movie” way hard, but it’s hard.  It’s wonderful and it’s hard so I’m not gonna judgement (most of) other mom’s choices.

So, I am a little less judgmental now that I’m a mom… but sometimes judgment still creeps it’s little self-righteous head.  Take today in yoga class.  Now, I don’t go to yoga every single day because I work (and I’m lazy… mostly because I’m lazy.)  So, I go to this class that I’ve gone to exactly once before (two months ago) and everyone knows everyone.  This is kind of nice – I like to be the fly on the wall of the ashram (well… the stinky YMCA.)

When you are a newbie and the other woman know each other, and all of you are slightly awkward, you don’t introduce yourself and, instead, listen to their conversations like a huge creep.

This is what I heard this morning:

Mom One: “The parking lot has gotten soooo… I don’t know!  It’s like they’ll let anyone in here.”

(It’s a YMCA… a frickn’ YMCA)

Mom Two: “I know, but if I don’t get my yoga my skin looks so old.”


Mom One: “Do anything fun this weekend?”

Mom Two: “Soccer games.  The Oscars.”

Mom One: “Oh, did you watch the Oscars?”

Mom Two: “Oh yeah, no, I didn’t.  I didn’t watch the Oscars.”


Mom One: “I heard Doogie Howser was funny.  And that Patricia Arquette said some stuff.”

(Yes All Women???)

Mom One: “But what I wanted to tell you is what I DID this weekend.”

(Clearly she was fishing when she asked the other woman what she did.)

Mom Two: “Did you watch the Oscars?”

Mom One: “No.  We don’t have Cable.”

(She’s VERY proud of this.)

Mom One: “No, Rachel and I went Downtown. Downtown, Los Angeles.”

(She says this like she went to Iraq and hung out with ISIS.)

Mom Two: “Why on earth would you do that?”

Mom One: “It was fun!  So artsy.  It’s sooo different from when we first moved here.  It’s like all these artists moved in and all the homeless people moved out.”

(The…. fuuuuuuuuuuu?????)

I almost yelled at these two strangers – that’s how insane I am.  I almost yelled at them in a yoga class about how they clearly don’t understand homelessness, or people, or anything really.  Instead, I chuckled to myself and wrote this post.

Every day, I try to judge less; but the problem is, people do really funny stuff all the time.